6: Sweater Snag

I feel like I've put a lot of conscious work into my being during my lifetime, all with the intention or hope of eventually becoming a self-actualized human with a meaningful existence. I came up with a metaphor for this thought: It's almost as if I've been knitting this cable knit sweater my whole life - every experience, every person, every thing I've encountered has been weaved into the fibers of this sweater by hand. As a result, I'd imagine some areas on this sweater would allude to skill, thought, and expertise; while other parts of it might look ratty, rushed, and expose unattended snags that still need repair. Similarly, there are many emotional struggles I've overcome, but a few remain that are still delicate; triggers, if you will. 

And you know, sometimes an otherwise insignificant experience can pass you by and catch you in just the right little snag, unraveling just the right thread that would undo years of hard work almost instantaneously! It happens! Sometimes some small bullshit occurs and you find yourself mentally reacting to it more than you should (by comparison to other personal experiences). You ask yourself why do I feel FEELS: Why do I feel vulnerable, foolish, and careless? How could I let this get under my skin? Why is my sweater all jacked up now? 

Then you realize it: oh, that experience pulled that snag that nobody knows exists but me. That experience had recognizable patterns that my being, specifically, registers as traumatic. You realize you're exposed, and thankfully, only you know it. But you hurt now and you want to mitigate that pain so your other feelings can coexist peacefully. What to do? Wallow? Rock a crop top cable knit sweater that isn't you? No - the only thing that makes sense is to sit down and knit yourself a new segment of your cable knit sweater with extra self-care, strength, wisdom, and love. 

TL:DR; Sometimes you're having a good time, and then suddenly you're not, and then you take it personally because the whole thing happened to trigger some childhood trauma garbage and you're like 'wow okay, that's not my fault let's get it together' so you make an agreement with yourself to just have way more chill moving forward. 
 

<3




 

Comic for WYV: #squad

I created a comic a month ago for Wear Your Voice that commented on all these recent fools making media headlines for being complete and utter bigots. While this may seem like an odd grouping (Nicole Arbour, Donald Trump, Kim Davis), this trifecta shares the common denominator of "love" by claiming that they "love everyone!" after openly expressing prejudice [& beyond] towards a particular group of people. I also riff on the out of touch blanket statements they often make, like Nicole's for instance, where she said that "fat shaming doesn't exist". I think people like this live in an alternate reality and should just all stick together, far, over there.. no, no, MORE FAR - further away from everyone else who wants to listen. DA, NA, KD: Pls go take several seats on a magical unicorn.
 

What do you want? STATE YOUR PURPOSE!

When I text people, there's a reason. Even if it is just to say hello, I declare my intention, which may be meta in that case but I'm not trying to be cryptic. I've been on the receiving end of texts with seemingly no purpose, or texts that don't make it past the obligatory small talk threshold, which is especially odd when the other party initiates the conversation in the first place (also odd: when the other party is someone you met off of a dating site, which would imply eventually meeting up, right? Especially if you've exchanged numbers? Well, that's not always the case...uh oh, nobody call me out on that. Mission abort - bye!).